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Other foods like the infamous apple pie from the movie "American Pie". This may seem obvious but you wouldn't believe how many requests we've received over the years to include a "How to Masturbate" for men. This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below. DR gives permission for the expenditure, seeming amused. Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
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OMG, you are so right! There are a great many different objects that you can thrust your penis into that will simulate penetrative intercourse. Bless you dear Son, Christopher. For my children, each day I would force them into the Holy Cross position for upwards of 10 hours without food or water to make sure those perverse thoughts suffer and are subsequently purged from the minds of my precious children. All Christians in the world should pray for you. Nothing about your penis is bad. And if you cant trust your one wif we than why are you mareied and why does it matter there color.
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You people are the ones that make religion seem a massive contagion of ignorance…. On a side note by looking at his ugly ass face I can imagine that he must really need this shit if I where as ugly as him I sure as hell would be masturbating all the time and could not focus on anything else. Stop fucking calling masturbation self rape because rape is only rape if you dong T like it and you wouldnt be doing it if you didnt like it. She tells me this while cupping my crotch. Erich Sean, you need to be sterilized as you must me the most ignorant and stupid person I have ever had the misfortune of knowing and MUST not reproduce for the fear of damaging a child that you bring in to this world! It only took me 30 seconds to figure out that this was a parody site. If this site was made to make fun of Christians, might I say, congradulations to you, mate.
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Muscles spasm until they ache. He is the one true first Son of God but we are all children of God too. Hey my neighbor did that too, I heard her kid yelling something about not wanting to be locked up, being beat up by his father and being starved by the mother. If you refuse this gift to fuck, than you refuse the gift of your LORD to get sacrifice trough sexuality. Let your sexually frustrated kids rub one out before they get someone pregnant. I find it ironic that people who equate sodomy with sin and evil, so often have their heads so far entrenched up their asses. Either you are confusing us with someone else or your reading comprehension is effectively nil.
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